Click the link to view some of my photographic art. the source images were pictures taken of purple Dahlias in a local flower garden. I’m working on a soundtrack for the slideshow.
Who Needs a Groundhog When Smokey the Bear is on the Job?
Looking at the vehicle ahead of me in the first picture, it is easy to see that today was a cold and bristly winter day. On a sunny day, visibility is over a mile from where the picture was taken. A trip that usually takes less than an hour was nearly double the typical driving time.
Thanks to Smokey the Bear for sharing the obvious!
Case Closed!
Today was another milestone. My case with the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation has been closed for completion!
Since receiving the Meniett device nearly 3 months ago, I have been free from the chaos that Meniere’s disease previously rained upon my daily routines. I have been virtually symptom free. The only time I felt any form of dizziness or vertigo was the direct result of my lapse in adherence to the prescription. Since then, I have lived dizzy free days.
I would like to thank all the members of my treatment team for all of your insight and efforts that have resulted in the virtual elimination of all symptoms associated with Meniere’s disease! A special thanks goes out to Ron for connecting the dots that put the Meniett device in the middle of my daily routines!
Havasupai
Leaving California with my mental health, career and life in shambles, I found Havasupai. Like a mother calling her child home for the night, I came back to my Mother and home. The primitive rhythms of life allow for human interactions that are lost beyond the geographical boundaries of Hilltop. The daily life of the Havasupai nurtured my body and spirit. The sweat lodge sings to my soul with every nighttime sky.
Routines of everyday life morphed with voices of the ancients into dreamtime lessons that dissolved any sense of loss and suffering. Living with minimal “essentials” allowed me to live in the harmony of our Mother’s womb. Looking into the heart of the Milky Way while shooting stars danced like fireflies choreographed with the sounds of life that echoed among the ancient stone sentinels.
As the caress of the healing waters cleansed me of my maladies and misalignments, I scrubbed my skin free from the last memory of cancer. Swimming in water teeming with life brought peace to my body and quiet to my mind.
Not only did the daily life of Havasupai heal my emotional upheaval, it was the beginning of my career as a behavioral therapist. There are few days that pass that create the opportunity for me to breathe the memories of a beautiful people in a long forgotten corner of the world.
Many thanks to the Havasupai for sharing your home with me. I remain forever grateful.
Music!
I’m looking forward to another evening full of fun! Not only do I enjoy listening to music, I love making it even more! Check back soon and I will upload a sample track of our music making.
It is a treat to be feeling well enough to start playing again…get set!
Kryptonite
Sitting under the glow of fluorescent lights is like asking Superman to fill his pockets full of Kryptonite while performing his superhero duties. It’s not going to happen.
As you may now know, I am loving life and enjoying dizzy free days. There is one warning. The surreal glow that emits from these life-stealing and vertigo-inducing torture tools brings me to my knees. No matter how diligent, adherent and responsible I am, time under one of these lights sends my head into a state of disarray that leaves me dizzy, nauseated and looking for refuge under a rock.
In a matter of minutes my symptom free day is stopped by these harbingers of bad times. Does anyone have any tips that will help to limit the side effects of sitting under these lights?
Perspectives
For the longest time I earned a living through a career choice.
Today I have a job.
I used to manage my investment portfolio.
Today I have a savings account.
I had a second job during my vacation time and separate sick days.
Today I have paid time off.
I put my toes in the Pacific and Atlantic.
Today I stay close to home.
The blue bucket stood faithfully by my bedside.
Today it’s in the basement.
The Ostrich Effect
I have held on to a long-standing dream of freedom from everything about Meniere’s disease. No more symptoms, medication, doctor visits or routines has been a daily mantra for nearly a decade.
Attacks have stolen time, productivity and functionality for far too long. Doctor visits, caseworkers, prescriptions and treatment bind me to obligations that I never asked for. In short, I would love to find a reverse gear and undo everything about this disease. Giving it back would suit me just fine.
The unfortunate result of my dream is The Ostrich Effect. Wishing that everything goes away by burying my head in the sand doesn’t work. Truth be told, I would prefer not taking medication, complying with prescribed therapies or sticking things in my ear every day.
Managing this disease means that I have to accept long-term lifestyle changes. There is no finish line that is symbolic of victory. Completing cancer treatment in the 1990′s taught me that if I put everything I’ve got into getting better, this disease is treatable.
I’m afraid that the old rules no longer apply. Wrapping my head around a lifelong plan for managing Meniere’s is the new treatment plan is as motivating as eating a bowl of canned peas. While I can feel the positive effects of “doing the right thing,” I wish that it would attack the things that create the symptoms.
One of the challenges that I face today is accepting the reality of who I am. I am a person with Meniere’s disease. This disease cannot be beaten by surgery and a few sessions of outpatient therapy. The core of an effective treatment plan begins with me.
It’s time to get my head out of the sand.
Eye Opener
For the last few weeks, I’ve been riding high on the clouds. Drunk with a newfound energy, I thought the world would transform into rainbows, sunshine and butterflies. My delusions crashed head-on into reality this week.
Symptoms started to reappear this week.
I didn’t take the for sale sign off the bucket just yet. I did, however, take note of the location of the garbage can.
Dizziness was back in full motion. Vertigo was standing at the front door with bags that looked like this would be another extended stay. For a time, I froze at the thought I was beginning to spiral back into the despair of recurring episodes of vertigo, vomiting and shitting simultaneously.
The thought of a perpetual hangover without drinking gripped me in terror.
I have adhered to all my healthy eating habits. Although my weight loss has slowed, I’m not gaining it back. I thought I had it under control.
Since I ditched my Ativan prescription, I haven’t felt the need for it until this week. Shrinking in terror, I almost regretted foregoing my last refill.
I plugged in the Meniett and emotionally sucked it like it was my favorite binkie. The therapy was able to do what medication never could. Addressing the symptoms without feeling like shit can happen!
Where was the crack in my routine? Where did I lapse?
I got lazy and didn’t adhere to the Meniett therapy. I felt so good, I didn’t stick to the therapy for a few days.
You can bet that’s not going to happen again!
Stop the Anger!
One of the most important lessons I have learned is my anger belongs to me. As the creator of the thoughts that are inside of my head, the feelings that they create belong to me. When I realized that to change how I feel, I have to change the fuel that feeds my emotions. I have to change my thoughts to change how I feel.
Thoughts & Feelings is the next page under development. Check back soon to learn how to control emotions by thinking a different thought.